Welcome to Paws and Effect, a pet expert advice column penned by longtime Rover contributor and award-winning pet writer, Jen Reeder. From navigating squishy social scenarios and murky ethical territory to burning behavioral or moral questions about cats and dogs, Jen uses her years of experience and hard-earned instincts to find real solutions for real pet people. Got a question for Jen? Email: pawsandeffect@rover.com
Dear Jen,
I’m a bit of a helicopter mom at the dog park (to be honest, I think that’s how all dog parents should be) and do my best to make sure my Samoyed isn’t humping or nose-punching other dogs. It’s hard not to be judgmental of other pet parents who are not watching their dog, or worse, wrongly (and rudely) assume my dog is “a rowdy boy, huh?” (she’s a girl) or think it’s fine when other dogs gang up on theirs: “It’s okay, my dog loves it!” (meanwhile, their dog’s tail is clearly tucked and the hackles are up). I try really hard to make sure my dog is an all-around good canine citizen at the park, and lately I’ve been fighting the urge to tell off oblivious pet parents who are misreading their, or someone else’s, dog’s behavior. Is it ever OK to say something, or am I overstepping?
Signed, All bark, no bite
Dear All Bark,
First off, thank you for being so responsible with your dog! I wish every dog lover was so considerate.
When my Labrador Retriever mix Rio was young, dog parks were key to helping the social guy burn off his energy. He played in the 5-acre dog park in Durango, Colorado pretty much every day, and I loved watching him frolic with friends.
But I’ll never forget a run-in we had at a dog park in Las Vegas when he was about 6 months old (yep, my husband and I road trip with our dogs whenever possible). A woman clung to a leash as a big dog pulled her through the gate. “He’s aggressive, but this is the only way he’s going to learn to get along with other dogs,” she announced.
As soon as she let him off the leash, the dog snarled and lunged for Rio, who yelped and successfully dodged the oncoming assault. We immediately left the dog park while I silently fumed. What if my dog became reactive from being attacked as a puppy?
Luckily, Rio stayed his happy, confident self, but nearly 13 years later, I’m still kicking myself for not saying anything. Who knows how many dogs wound up in harm’s way because I didn’t speak up?
Protecting the safety of our dogs should always be our top priority, according to Annie Phenix, Fear Free certified dog trainer, CEO of the Phenix Advocacy Center, and author of “Positive Training for Aggressive and Reactive Dogs: Proven Techniques to Help Your Dog Overcome Fear and Anxiety.”
“All it takes is one fight or medical injury to create fear in a dog,” she told me when I shared your question. “If another dog is endangering my dog, I have the right and the responsibility to speak up and say, ‘Your dog is about to harm my dog.'”
All it takes is one fight or medical injury to create fear in a dog.
This is a big deal, because when dogs feel fear or anxiety, it can lead to problematic behaviors like reactivity to other dogs such as growling, lunging, and biting. The issue—as you note in your question, All Bark—is that people often don’t understand canine body language and miss early stress signs, from changes in body posture to panting or lip licking.
“They’re not aware of the subtle fear signs and then it progresses until a dog is like, ‘I’m uncomfortable, I’m uncomfortable!’ Then they growl or air snap and then eventually bite,” Phenix said.
While you can’t control what other people understand about dogs, you can, and should, take action if you think your dog is in a potentially dangerous situation. In these circumstances, Phenix says you have two options: leave the park, or ask the owner to call their dog away from yours.
While everyone has different comfort levels with conversations like this, Phenix advises a direct approach with something like, “Call your dog! Get your dog away from my dog!”
If you’re as uncomfortable with confrontation as I am, you might consider couching your words with something like, “Can you please call your dog? Mine is feeling threatened!” to appeal to their compassion. Or if their dog’s tail is tucked and hackles are raised, you could say something like, “Hey—I think your dog could use some love from you right now.”
While plenty of people might be clueless, we have to hope they aren’t being intentionally malicious or negligent—after all, they’re dog people, just like us.
For puppy parents, Phenix stressed that puppies are particularly vulnerable and need to learn to feel safe while their bodies, brains, and opinions of the world are still forming. She advised against taking a puppy—or any recently adopted dog—to the dog park in their first month with a new family. [Ed. note: This is particularly salient advice—until puppies are old enough to be vaccinated, keeping them away from the dog park and other dogs can help them from contracting parvo.]
“What happens in those first 30 days with a new family will shape their life,” she advised. “We need to be focusing on canine enrichment.”
In a follow up question, you wondered about the utility of dog parks in general:
Dog parks used to be the place to take your dogs. Now it seems like people are rethinking the benefits they offer—I’ve even read that the dog park is bad for dogs. How should I know if the dog park is a good place for my dog?
Ultimately, you know your dog better than anyone. Just be aware that other people might not be so in tune with their dogs and be ready to take action if everyone’s not having fun.
Phenix, for example, rarely takes her Border Collie mixes Finn and Cooper to dog parks because too many people don’t understand canine communication, or how quickly dogs can become overstimulated. When she does visit a dog park, it’s during less crowded “off times,” and typically with friends and their well-trained dogs.
“There are those who have an outdated and incorrect belief that ‘dogs will just be dogs and they need to fight it out,’” she cautioned. “I think you have to have your head on a swivel [at dog parks] and be prepared for a potential fight. To me, it’s a risk.”
Phenix wishes that before visiting dog parks, people would develop strong bonds with their dogs. Ideally, when you say your dog’s name, she’ll turn her head and look at you to see what you want to do next. Sometimes, that might be heading for the exit if things get dicey.
“You have to have that check-in, and that relationship,” she concluded. “That invisible bond that’s stronger than a leash.”
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