Some treats are designed to negate your dog’s bad breath—improve it, even. These are not those treats. These are the treats that make you want to leave the room; the treats that, when left out, might horrify your guests. “Sorry, that’s a dried up bull’s penis you just stepped on with your bare feet. Wine, anyone?”
But the grosser it is, the more our dogs love it. Here’s a barker’s dozen of the gnarliest dog treats that are great for keeping your dog entertained and calm. Break ’em out when you need them!
Naming these treats after a catchy Motown tune does not change the fact that they are trachea treats. Your dog is literally ripping a throat out when he bites into these.
Dang, these are straight out of the Saw movie franchise. But they have 5/5 stars on Petco.com because dogs love them.
3. Knuckle Bone
Your dog would love nothing more than to romance this knuckle bone on your new couch. Says a five star review: “My dogs eyes nearly popped out when they saw these! I think they thought they went to heaven! The bones are massive and loaded with crunchy stuff.”
Although word on the street is these leave an “oily residue” on the floor/everywhere your dog sees fit to enjoy it.
This is just wonderful to look at. And it can get your dog in touch with its ancient instincts, maybe?
5. Pig Ears
Waste not, want not. I’ll let this four-star customer review do the talking:
“Just like the other comments, I have found a few with pig hair still remaining and several ears that are very small or look more like a piece of an ear. As far as the hair goes, at least I know these are real pig ears and not a shaped piece of something else labeled as a pig ear.”
Are you OK to continue? Just checking in, we’re almost there.
6. Tripe Sticks
Special shout-out to tripe sticks for being the smelliest of the bunch. This five-star review says it all:
“If you have never smelled Tripe Sticks, let me just say that you really don’t want to. So being able to reseal the bag was a huge plus for me.”
What part of the animal is the saddle? … :\
Aside from the fact that this is a hoof, the top reviews are titled very similarly: “Great product – Horrible smell” and “Great chews, Not so Great Smell”
9. Porky Slices
No distinction about what part of the pig, er, “porky” this treat comes from.
The good thing about antler chews is that they double as rustic decoration, if your dog is going for a shabby chic/elephant graveyard feel in his crate, where these will all end up.
11. Liver Paste
Like E-Z Cheez for dogs. According to reviews, dogs love it, but it makes them fart monsters. A review titled Oh, the gas! The horrible, horrible gas… puts it, “By the end of the afternoon, I am choking on the odor that rises at regular intervals from under my desk in nearly visible clouds of pure dog fart stench. By the time we get home, even the puppy will stop in his tracks every few minutes and startle at his own rear end, not entirely sure what’s going on back there but knowing it’s probably not good.”
The reviewer goes on to note that this stuff keeps his dog seriously busy and quiet. So…cost-benefit analysis, right?
12. Bully Sticks
These come in braided form, stick form, and spring form, which begs a lot of questions about bull genitalia. The things we accidentally think about for our dogs!