Loves animals. Not weird about it.
Genuinely. I'm bananas for dogs. I'm so excited to meet yours! I also promise not to call them your "fur babies" because I'm an adult man and the line needs to be drawn somewhere. Dogs are great, but they're not kids, you know? At some point we lost sight of that. I promise to be cool and see your pet for what they are: a kick-ass hairy monster that probably likes steak a lot.