Talk about sitting in the lap of luxury.
If pampering our pooch is wrong, we don’t want to be right. Providing her with an endless supply of squeaky toys to destroy? Done. Organic bones to chew? Bring ’em on. A memory foam dog bed to chill out in after a tough day of chasing balls? Better get two.
But we apparently need to step up our overindulgence game, because we have yet to shop for a diamond doggie tiara. Turns out bejeweled noggin toppers are just one of the many items a doting and deep-pocketed dog owner can shower on their furry best friend. Hide your credit card as you check out these delightfully over-the-top canine accessories.
For the mutt with a taste for midcentury modern, the Cubix doghouse takes inspiration from the Bauhaus aesthetic (please insert your own “bow-wow house” joke here). Prices start around $5,300.
For $1,200, your tail-wagger can curl up in the retro-inspired Padpod Luxury Lounger, which pays tribute to the iconic egg chair. According to the description, “the high-gloss shell and vibrant interior create a work of art, reminiscent of ingenious mid-century innovation.” OK, we admit it: We want a matching human-sized one.
Decorated with semi-precious gemstones, crystals and pearls, this eye-catching armoire retails for $5,390.00. We don’t know about your dog, but ours would likely not be satisfied until she’s gleefully gnawed off every single one of those baubles.
Want to dress up your dog’s everyday fur coat? Options abound. On the left is a $325 flower-adorned satin fuchsia gown accented with a Chihuahua-sized bow. On the right, Fido will achieve fabulousness in a $440 fringed and frothy coral gown in silk and tulle.
Royal Harness Dress
This handmade velvet-lined futuristic royal harness dress in “bridal silk” features 2000 Swarovski crystals, along with ostrich feathers and pearls. It can be yours for $6,600. Yes, dollars.
The World’s Most Expensive Dog Collar
For a mere $3.2 million, you can drape your dog in what’s billed as the world’s most expensive dog collar. Encrusted with 1,600 diamonds and surrounded with crocodile leather, the 52-carat Amour, Amour showstopper makes that necklace from Titanic look like it came from a gumball machine.
We think the website description for this $4,000 bottle of V.I.P. doggie perfume speaks for itself: “Only once every two years can enough petals of the rare Osmanthus flower be picked and distilled to create Michel’s signature Fragrance Les Poochs V.I.P. This ever-evolving modern ‘living’ fragrance energizes then soothes the olfactory senses for those lucky enough to smell it. This liquid gold is packaged in handcrafted crystal bottles each numbered and signed. Due to the high demand and limited quantity, Les Poochs V.I.P is offered by invitation only.”
A Sparkly Bath
Yes, this clawfoot, sparkly number is pretty, but it probably won’t make it any easier to persuade your scrabbling, shampoo-averse dog to sit still for bath-time. Or make you any less soaked from the inevitable post-scrubbing shake.
Had enough of your beloved pooch staring you down as you eat? Or hanging over your shoulder, hoping to snag a chunk of your dinner? The $980 Bone Appetit high chair solves that problem by enabling “your pet to eat and drink neatly at the table without making a mess.”
Gussy up floor-based mealtimes with the 22-carat-gold-gilded Royal Crown Derby Old Imari bowl, which retails for $858.
Crystal Poop Bag Holder
We’re not sure anything can make scooping poop more pleasurable, but this $352 heart-shaped, Swarovski crystal-garnished poop bag holder will certainly give you an air of sophistication when you’re repeatedly urging, “Go potty!”