Should Sitter Have Eaten Food From Our Freezer, Etc. Without Asking First?

Hi, I've been reading through these posts and I am honestly seeing a lot of blame put on younger generations. As I happen to be part of that younger generation, I just wanted to defend us some and specify that not all of us are like this. Yes, unfortunately, many young adults these days have less respect for other people's property than previously. But a lot of that has to do with how that person was raised and our parents/influencers are part of your generation as their parents/influencers were of the next and so forth. I'm just trying to say there are bad apples in every batch, that's why you often gotta dig to the bottom of the stash to find the good ones.

Aside from the small rant (I apologize-just had to get that out), I agree with many of the other replies here. As a sitter whose just now starting to get some clients, I can confirm that you sorta learn as you go. I personally don't have to be told step-by-step everything I am allowed to do or not do, again this might do with how I was raised as well. To me, if the sitter really likes what they are doing and wants to continue, they will take absolute care to make sure they make a good impression. From what you described it sounds like these other two bad sitters you've had weren't too serious about this job and probably couldn't care less if you hired them again or not, it was probably just some easy money to them. But if you are concerned about getting a bad sitter again, I would recommend taking the advice that these other sitters have given you but also just go with your gut feeling. I honestly am still learning what questions and such to ask at a meet and greet so I probably seem a little unprepared when I show up, but every meet and greet I've gone to I end up sitting for because I guess they can just see my love for animals and that I'm a real genuine person. Many of them end up asking me about my personal life as well like what I am going to school for and such which I believe helps them get to know me better as well. As a last resort option, you could always purchase a home security system to put up inside. That way you could check on them while you are away if you are overly concerned about your dog's safety or the state of your home.

Hi Laura,

Deb made some great points which I agree with and I am sorry you are upset!

As a sitter, I personally do not eat/use anything unless the owner has specifically told me I can use or that I have asked to use. For example: I have a regular client who specifically told me I could use the pool if I wanted and she will leave notes when there are fruits and veggies I can help myself to. I also asked that on the off chance my husband is with me, if he can come in and sit with me while I let the dogs out and what not. I do not go through anyones things and I do not use anything I did not have specific permission to use (depending on the job - the bathroom is a given so I don't ask about that one).

I also am very big on cleaning up after myself because, to me, it is very unprofessional to leave a client's house messier than when I got there. I normally end up leaving it cleaner than when I got there. If I use a glass for water, I hand wash it, dry it and put it back. I like to leave client's houses looking like I was never there.

I definitely think you have every right to let her know what you liked and didn't like and what your expectations are - just as sitters should be clear about their expectations (they want to bake cookies, make dinner, etc.). So no, I do not think you are wrong. Hopefully that helps and best of luck!

Look at it this way: someone, a stranger, has just cared for your animals, house, and garden/lawn. Or some combination of those things. Chances are great that you didn't pay them, anything, for their time, or labor. Not that long ago, you'd have to have paid them quite handsomely, per night, for this work. Look up costs for a kennel, assuming you have pets, and then the cost for someone to care for your house and garden. Is that the cost of your espresso and a few cups of flour and choco chips? Are you truly upset that this stranger, who cared for your home, used a few dollars worth of food, and used your kitchen appliances? Come on. Even if you did pay them a per diem, plus overnight costs, is this truly an issue for you? That you are upset that you might have to wash a few dishes, taking --10 minutes of your time, when this person just cared for your home and everything in it, during your trip out of town seems pretty outrageous. Thank her, and next time tell your sitter to help themselves to anything, and not to fuss about clean up. Then thank them for their time.

During a meet & greet, ideally this would be discussed (in terms of what the sitter can use). She should not have helped herself to these items without either your expressed permission or asking you...and then not properly cleaning up after herself and putting things back appropriately was wrong.

You could choose to contact her and let her know that you were happy with the care she gave your pups, but in the interest of her future growth, you'd like to share what you felt she should have done better and discuss the details. Or you could let a little time pass so you're not as upset, and then write the review, acknowledging what was good and what could have been better.

Add'n.: I'm glad you indicated this was helpful. I agree that it shouldn't be necessary to tell someone to leave the house in the same condition and not help themselves to stuff. I tend to leave homes in better condition and definitely no alcoholic beverages consumed (because dogs can't drive and the dog may need something while in my care)

That is just not acceptable behavior... I've been sitting 5+ years and even opening a client's fridge for the first time to put my own groceries that I bought away feels strangely wrong to me. I typically don't 'cook' when I'm house-sitting, I tend to just buy frozen pizza, TV dinners, etc that way I'm not using ALL the client's stuff and making a mess of the kitchen. I inform my client's that I provide my own groceries and aside from using things like salt and pepper or a dash of sugar for my coffee, I will definitely not be cleaning out their food supply! I also CLEAN the house before I leave. I wash all the dishes I used and put them back in their proper place, I clean off countertops, stovetops, I do a general clean of the bathroom, etc. I tell my client's, "Your house will either look exactly the same as when you left, with very little to no indication that I was even there, or it will look even BETTER than when you left." That said--I do not open anything that does not NEED to be opened and I don't go rifling through anything. Obviously, one has to get somewhat familiar with the kitchen and bathroom as they will be using those rooms, but I consider all other rooms to be off-limits and usually close all other doors to preserve the client's privacy. I would either talk to the sitter gently about this, or just not use her in the future. Like you said, the care of your animals is top priority but don't sacrifice your home in the process, the sitter is caring for your home AS WELL as your pets and the house should be treated with just as much care and respect. :)

Maybe I’m doing it wrong...though most of my clients say I should help myself. If they do not say I can help myself I absolutely do not eat nonperishable food unless a client specifically states it is ok. I do eat produce that will obviously spoil if not eaten before the client gets back—but this only really happens for longer stays . I always leave a note stating what went bad and was tossed or eaten before it spoiled. I assume things like salt, pepper, condiments, sugar and maybe a splash of milk for coffee (I usually bring my own) are ok to use as long as I don’t use the last of it. The only reason to go into the freezer is if you need ice cubes, or are storing your own personal items. I assume it is ok that I use clients kitchen items to cook my meals. If I were to eat out all of my meals while house sitting the money I make house sitting wouldn’t be worth it. I like to bake so if I do bake anything like a pie or cookies (I’ve done both while house sitting) I always leave some for the client and bring my own ingredients. I never ever leave dirty dishes. The kitchen should look like it wasn’t touched when the client gets back and trash taken out. It should look like I was never there.

I came looking for an answer on whether or not a sitter usually provides their own food. I met with my client yesterday and will be sitting for 3 nights starting tomorrow. While getting a tour and directions for the puppers, she mentioned I was welcome to anything in the pantry. I said thank you, but I planned on bringing my own food as not to cause an inconvenience. I thought this was normal, that a sitter would bring their own food, but after she mentioned it I was wondering if I was wrong as this is my first client. Im 19 and I would never dream of going to someone else's house and rummaging through their cupboards. Especially when they're not home. I don't even help myself at my sister's even though I know she doesn't care without asking first. I couldn't imagine doing it to a stranger. Maybe not everyone thinks like I do and it's not common sense, so maybe expectations should always be laid out better but good heavens I could not.

You have someone live your house while you are gone, take care of your dogs, and you are upset she used your flour to feed herself? What a joke. You are selfish. I have never once dogsat and not been told i can help myself to anything in the fridge or cabinets. She probably just assumed that that was okay because that normally is okay, it should be okay. You expect her to buy a full load of groceries, spices and flour and all? That would negate the income from the gig. She didn’t eat all of your food. It’s not like you came home to an emptied out fridge and pantry. You mentioned baking supplies. That’s insane of you to even notice. Sounds like she brought her own food, but just helped herself to some baking supplies and snacks. Don’t invite people into your home if you are not comfortable with them doing anything. What an uncomfortable experience for her to feel like she has to tip toe around the place. She’s a human that needs to eat. You shouldn’t expect her to only eat microwaved food for a week.

Plus who has ever used up all of their baking supplies? I can’t imagine it’s a huge loss to you.

I can understand how it could be upsetting if chocolate truffles that were important to you were eaten, but that should have been communicated ahead of time. A petsitter is a human being and someone being paid to take care of pets-- they are not a maid, they are not a slave, they are not a servant, they are not a cleaning service, they are not a dishwasher. It's nice for them to take out the trash and do dishes, but that's just sort of a perk and not really required for the job, in my opinion.

I grew up with a lot of siblings and generally speaking, anything left in the kitchen was fair game. If I really didn't want something taken, I knew I had to hide it in my room. Did you grow up as a only-child? Did you specify in your communication, "Do not eat my chocolate truffles"? You're clearly wealthy enough to even own an espresso machine, which many people do not own. You say they "found your ground espresso," as if it's not normal for most people to drink coffee every morning. This sitter probably didn't ask you if she could drink coffee in your home as that would be a weird thing to ask.

When I've provided services, I've had clients buy me dinner, gift me a bottle of wine, gift me jams and jellies, etc. Do you do anything nice like that for your providers? I'm an educated and experienced housesitter saving them lots of money, transport hassle to a kennel, infection risk as animals can pick up contagious diseases when exposed to other animals at kennels, etc.

Things I would be reasonably upset about if a provider did them: Smoked in the home, caused any serious damage to the home, left extreme messes, urine or feces, hosted large events or parties, used the home to film things without asking me, had illegal drugs in the home. Things I would not be upset about: Drinking a coffee and eating some candies.

Most every client I've ever worked for has either asked what I wanted to eat so they could provide it or said feel free to eat and use what you want. It's unclear if this sitter was asked to be there 24/7 while the owner was away, if so it's totally unreasonable and unrealistic to expect that the sitter will not use your kitchen and appliances and even eat some food. Besides, I find that most people want a little more than us to be just petsitters, like the garbage goes out on _ night, or could you please water the house plants, etc. I don't mind doing those things but we aren't getting paid for them because of the little niceties like help your self to whatever you want or use the pool or I set up a guest Hulu account for you. And even when I'm allowed to help myself I don't act like an entitled teenager and eat everything in sight & I do replace things such as coffee pods, because I drink lots of coffee & nobody expects to be depleted of an item when they return.

We don't get paid an hourly rate for 24 hour care, and if we did it would be hugely expensive & there would be that complaint as well, altho then the sitter could afford to order in or bring a weeks worth of everything she may or may not want to eat while you're gone.

We get paid a daily rate & when clients want us to stay 24/7 it ends up that we are getting paid well below minimum wage, we turn down other jobs such as walks and drop INS and loose money sitting for people that won't want us to leave their dogs alone. BESIDES WHAT PET OWNER STAYS WITH THEIR OWN PETS 24/7?

I always ask if the expectation is 24/7 and if so I no longer will take those jobs they are a waste of time and end up costing me money along with having to deal with people who are so picky about someone maybe using a bit of flour and the espresso machine. If there was something you didn't want to be used you should've indicated either in person or in written instructions before you left.

The only fault I see that you can rightfully so be bothered by is coming home to someone else's dirty dishes. That is rude and wrong of the sitter, the rest is your own pickiness.