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‘Thoughts of Dog’ Twitter Account Is Hilariously Accurate (and Sweet)

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‘Thoughts of Dog’ Twitter Account Is Hilariously Accurate (and Sweet)

Dog Love
By Kiki Kane

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If a dog could tweet, this is pretty much exactly what they’d have to say. Brought to life by Matt Nelson, creator of the blockbuster We Rate Dogs account, the daily messages cover all the interests of the average dog, from peanut butter obsession to pesky squirrels (this one’s named Gary).

Here are some of our favourite dog thoughts so far.

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you cannot. spoil me. if i already. deserve the world

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 10, 2017

pic.twitter.com/I3CvINvnQv

— Miss Yaya (@SometimesYaya) August 10, 2017

my favorite. pastimes. include:

7. the snooze
• stick reviews
2. staring at. the skittle
3. zoom tutorials
b) loving you
2. peanut butter

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) September 5, 2017

ok. let me summarize. we went. on a big walk. to some water. that i splish splashed in. then. we walked back. it was. dare i say. magical

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 11, 2017

pic.twitter.com/bDcNOZaXKs

— ??????? (@2SetLarryFree) August 11, 2017

sometimes. i fall asleep. easily. other times. it’s like. let me think. all the thoughts. i’ve ever thunk. real quick. i want. peanut butter

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) September 1, 2017

do not worry. if you forget. about. my constant need. for affection. i will remind you. with many nudges

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 14, 2017

pic.twitter.com/AgjekLROtW

— Anthony Chez (@AnthonyChezz) August 14, 2017

a rule. i live by. is. if the crack. in the door. is shnoop wide. or bigger. i am entering

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 1, 2017

i remember. when i was. addicted to. the sproing boing. wall toy. behind the door. now i walk past it. and scoff. for i am better. than it

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) September 6, 2017

Me too – Mickey, now 4 pic.twitter.com/qfWoxielee

— dcallejon ✌???? (@dcallejon) September 7, 2017

alert. breaking news. i love you

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 2, 2017

sometimes. i will. bork up the household. for no reason. at all. a practice run. if you will. for when the house. actually needs. borking up

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 28, 2017

i am. puzzled. and also. skeptical. when does a house. not need borking up? pic.twitter.com/cZ3zDOcRIB

— Cathy Bell ???????????? (@CathyMBell) August 28, 2017

things. that make me. smile:

5. sticks
f. my human
2. water {solid state)
2) good pats
b. overthrowing. the patriarchy
1. long snoozes

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) July 12, 2017

every time. you shake. my paw. a contractual. agreement. is formed

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 2, 2017

i. am a:

⚪️ koala
⚪️ jungle. tortoise
???? puppo

seeking:

⚪️ noggin pats
⚪️ passionate boops
⚪️ permission. to zoom
???? all of. the above

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 22, 2017

i
⚫hate
????love
⚫like

this

— athena berreth ???? (@eggberreth) August 22, 2017

top. annoyances:

5. gary {the squirrel. i named. gary)
h. leash tangles
2. inside out. ear
2. fragile sticks
a. the hardwood
9. Keith Urban

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) July 26, 2017

pic.twitter.com/2koarnsGgj

— On the come up (@edwardsbrando) July 26, 2017

snooze. you lose? please. a snooze. is always. a victory

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) June 30, 2017

I concur. Think I will have a victory now. pic.twitter.com/oqN5Sxy7V4

— Andrew Golddog (@GolddogAndrew) June 30, 2017

i would like. to kindly. request. a lengthy. snug

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 30, 2017

things that make. me happy. that might also. make. you happy

4. a good stick
3. long hugs
8. unexpected food
2. zooms
5. love. reciprocated

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 13, 2017

i would like. your attention. please… not because. i’m about. to say something. important. i just like attention

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 6, 2017

Penny for your thoughts? pic.twitter.com/PYc5dZG3ra

— Charles Dogwin (@CharlieDogwin) August 6, 2017

i found. such a nice stick. on my walk. this morning. carried it. all the way back home. but was denied. entry. until i let go. of it

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 31, 2017

all aboard. to snoozetown. first stop. i love you

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 7, 2017

i’d slide. across. a million. hardwood floors. for you

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 17, 2017

pic.twitter.com/YSIUFR6omK

— 〰 (@squiggly_line_) August 17, 2017

i grrrborked. at the hurricane. on the tv. it did not. do much. i apologize

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) September 8, 2017

i am. the best guard dog. like. you can’t slip. by me. unless you pet me. and tell me. i’m good. then. you can. usually pass. quite easily

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 15, 2017

every. good boy’s. weakness pic.twitter.com/r0ShXd7y2A

— cølin (@colinlemke) August 15, 2017

i. am on the verge. of the snooze. just wanted. to mention. that i love you. like. big time

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) July 30, 2017

you. can measure. my love. in tail thuds. against the floor. per minute

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 1, 2017

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Kiki Kane

Kiki Kane is a canine chef, professional blogger, and lifelong animal lover owned by a Frenchie-Boston mix named Bea Pickles and a geriatric kitty named Mogwai. As a dog chef and member of Rover's Dog People Panel, she creates original dog-friendly recipes for the web series Kiki's Canine Kitchen.

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By Kiki Kane

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