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I’m always saying this and it’s never not true: dogs are not humans. Yes, I know, it’s incredibly easy to forget this fact. I mean, it’s not that we forget they’re dogs, but we constantly forget that our body language and behaviours can have an entirely different meaning in canine language.
Fortunately, you can learn to “speak dog.” A good starting place is to understand what we do that makes our dogs feel anxious. In particular, you’ll communicate the right message by staying clear of these five actions that make dogs nervous.
Staring
A frightened animal can be unpredictable. If they feel threatened enough, they will instinctively choose to flee the situation or to defend themselves by fighting. Unfortunately, in our human-centric world, you are most likely to meet a frightened dog while he is tethered via lead to a person or object.
A calming signal communicates to the dog that you are no threat.
Staring him down—looking directly in his eyes—is likely to be perceived as a challenge. If the dog can’t flee…well, you get the picture. Instead, lower your body to the dog’s level and look away from him.
This is what’s known as a “calming signal,” which communicates to the dog that you are no threat.
Hugging
To be fair, not all dogs mind being hugged. However, there is some question about whether dogs truly enjoy hugs and concern that they might actually be stressful to dogs.
A 2016 study conducted by Dr. Stanley Coren, who wrote ‘How to Speak Dog,’ concluded that 82% of dogs displayed signs of stress when hugged. This was determined by looking at the visual cues dogs displayed in dog hug photos.
Some have questioned this study’s methodology, but it does raise the point that for some dogs, a hug can make feel like restraint.
If you want to give some love, try a gentle scratch on the hindquarters instead.
Also, it’s never a good idea to a hug a dog you don’t know. If you know your dog likes hugs, then go for it. But if you’re not sure, or if it’s an unfamiliar dog, try a gentle scratch on the hindquarters instead.
Petting on the head
When we greet a new dog, our first inclination is to reach out to say hello. But reaching out your hand over a dog’s head is scary for most.
Instead of reaching over them in an intimidating gesture, reach along the side of the body or give a little scratch on the chest.
Yelling or raising your voice
Dogs are very sensitive to human tone of voice; it doesn’t take a lot to effectively communicate that you are unhappy with their actions.
This means that yelling or even raising your voice at your dog is not only unnecessary, but it can have unintended negative outcomes.
For example, a puppy that is yelled at for having an accident on the rug may look for a time when you aren’t around to have their next accident. Keep your voice calm and, if you need to verbally communicate that you are upset, simply use a firm tone. Never use physical punishment to punish your dog.
Erratic and unpredictable movement
Dogs like us to be predictable and, when our typical behavior changes, it can be scary.
I once knew a dog who would go crazy barking at a friend any time she’d been drinking because her walk changed and her speech became louder.
The same problem (erratic movement, not alcohol) can make hanging out around young children who run and tumble and yell nerve-wracking for some dogs. In these types of situations, be sure your dog has a place they can retreat to that is safe, quiet, and private.