How to handle meet and greets with a potentially aggressive dog?

That is definitely a tough situation to be in, and I'm glad you're not giving up on taking care of dogs. It is extremely difficult to assess ahead of time whether a dog will negatively interact with our dogs at meet and greets, and there is always some risk that will happen, even with otherwise well-behaved dogs. Also keep in mind that most (if not all) dogs have a situation under which they feel obligated to defend themselves. Some dogs have more situations (ones that trigger self-defense) than others, and this is also related to training, though certainly not exclusively.

In terms of questions you can ask, the only thing is asking more specifically if a potential guest dog has had any negative interactions or problems with other dogs in the past, what the situation was and why the owner thinks that happened, and if they have found anything that's been helpful for introducing their dog to new dogs. Other than that, do your research. I can't stress this enough. Learn about dog behavior and how to interact with different types of dogs with different behaviors (territorial, dominant, overexcited, etc.). Any time a dog owner tells me their dog is shy, that indicated to me that there is a potential for aggression, and I make sure to give that dog PLENTY of space during a meet and greet. I limit eye contact and angle my body away so they are not intimidated by me. I make sure my dogs sniff from a distance and make sure to watch the potential guest carefully to see how they're reacting to my dog. If they are recoiling, becoming tense, or hiding behind their owner, I know to back my dogs off. If they are stretching out their head to sniff or sniffing towards my dog, I know they're coming out of their comfort zone and I should continue what I'm doing. I completely agree with Deb that walking dogs together is extremely helpful and essential for many dogs.

It sounds like you had an excitable dog wanted to meet an anxious dog, which is a recipe for disaster if not closely monitored. This reminds me of our puppy, who is now about a year old (okay less of a puppy now). We have had many adult dogs who didn't want anything to do with her, but she would continue trying to play with them. Most of our guest dogs would either ignore her or react strongly (a few would actually play). I always encourage our guest dogs to be assertive with our puppy once I've seen that their assertiveness is restrained. Dog assertiveness can be scary since they can use their mouths to communicate, and there are a lot of teeth in there! After monitoring all the dogs closely, both on leash outside and inside, I trusted most of these dogs to correct our puppy in a restrained manner, and trusted that our puppy... (more)

I agree with Deb's process for M&Gs. I have a dog who tends to be bratty on leash (overexcited by new dogs, frustrated and nervous with greetings) and is getting less tolerant of new dogs as she ages. For her sake, as well as my potential clients', I take introductions slowly. The dogs only get to greet each other when both are relaxed. Their bodies should be loose, not tense. Showing interest in the other dog is fine (I don't mind a little leash pulling or a little whining; I'm not looking for perfection), but intense focus, hard stares, excessive whining, over-excitement, nervousness or fear, etc. can lead to an unpredictable situation where one or both dogs might snap or bite.

We take the dogs for a walk together, and only let them approach each other when they are both calm and behaving appropriately. This can take a while, but in my experiences, greetings like this go much more smoothly than greetings with no chance for acclimation first. Usually after 10 minutes or so (sometimes longer with more excitable/fearful dogs, sometimes less with more easy-going dogs) then we can head back home and let the dogs interact off-leash inside. Like Deb, I'm far more focused on the dogs than I am on the people. If one of them starts to act uncomfortable (either mine showing stress about having another dog in her space or theirs concerned about interest from mine), I'll have my dog take a time-out to give them a chance to relax and try again. What I'm looking for is for all the dogs to be able to relax in each other's presence before the M&G ends. If I feel like my dog is too focused on the activities of the other dog during the M&G and I can't readily redirect her attention to me, it would not be a good match.

You can't control the behavior of the other person's dog, and you can't guarantee that the owners will have control, so you have to be proactive about controlling the environment and your own dog. It sounds like your outgoing, playful dog wasn't reading or responding to the other dog's cues asking for time and space. It doesn't matter how friendly she is being; her approach scared the other dog, who reacted defensively. It sounds like there wasn't a wound, so the other dog was inhibiting their bite (though still potentially biting harder than was necessary to make their point) and giving your dog a warning to change her approach. In the future, if you choose to continue meeting with shy/nervous dogs, I'd recommend keeping your dog on a long lead/tether rather than allowing completely off-leash interactions at first. That way if your dog isn't responding to cues from the other dog, you can easily redirect her to prevent another incident (which is good practice for your... (more)