My dog is not used to other dogs in our home. She does not get along with other dogs. She is protective, jealous, and will even growl. How may I get that behavior to stop? I would love to welcome other dogs in my home.
Imagine you had a roommate who really wanted to list your spare bedroom on AirBNB. You protested, telling her you don't want strangers in your home, touching your stuff, and disturbing your daily routine. Your roommate did it anyway, saying you needed to learn to deal with it. Even if your roommate put in the effort to make sure your stuff wasn't touched or your routine disrupted, you likely still wouldn't be very happy with the arrangement.
Your dog is telling you the same thing. She is not comfortable with sharing her space or her things. She's doing everything in her power to tell you "I do not like this. Please do not make me do this." And it's totally alright for her to say that, just like it's alright for you to tell your hypothetical roommate that you don't want strangers sleeping in your spare room all the time.
You can work on helping her be courteous to guests by giving her a safe space to go if she's feeling uncomfortable, keeping her special things put away, and telling her what appropriate behaviors you want her to engage in while guests are present, but you very likely won't change her overall opinion of sharing her space. Our dogs have all kinds of preferences and opinions--they have things they love and things they tolerate and things they hate. Teaching appropriate behaviors in situations your dog dislikes is beneficial for those times when you can't avoid it (like when friends/family come by with their dogs), but as her owner, it's up to you to keep her desires in mind when deciding if subjecting her to a situation she dislikes frequently is worth the discomfort it will cause her.
Growling is not necessarily a negative behavior in dogs, depending very much on the situation. While it's important to be very careful when a dog is growling, it's how they cue other dogs that they want to keep their personal bubble intact and need their space. All of my adult dogs growl at my puppy and other younger dogs and will bare their teeth and even lunge or charge (without biting) if the younger dogs are too persistent. When an adult dog is growling at another adult dog, I would make a point of taking them on a long walk together and letting them explore together outside where there is more space to move and they can bond prior to being in a smaller space. I even had a doggie scuffle at a meet and greet once and I still took in that dog because after walking and exploring together, the dogs bonded and were totally fine in the same room for the entire stay and interacted pleasantly (and all the repeat stays thereafter).
We have 3 shelties. A 12 year old female, an 11 year old male and a 10 year old male. Their whole lives have been just the three of them (and 2 cats). Occasionally I would watch my sister-in-law's dog and sometimes she'd stay here with ours. Her dog is male. Katie, the only female, is the alpha dog. However, she is not aggressive... unless someone doesn't get the hint. If she doesn't want to be bothered, she will give a little growl. If that doesn't work, she'll show her teeth. And her final warning is to nip at them. It rarely ever gets to that. Katie's Princess status just flows out of her and dogs seem to know she owns the place. Our youngest dog does not like confrontation. When he doesn't want to be bothered, he lays on our bed. Our middle dog has to be the center of all the attention.
Be aware of what she is doing, but don't scold her for letting other dogs know it's her house and she's the boss. The other dogs will get it, even if she has to get a bit angry with them. She's standing her ground. She's letting them know this is her house and they are a guest. And that's okay. But like I said, be aware of what she is doing. Some dogs just will not share their space or their owner for anything.
I highly recommend introductions on leashes in case you have to separate them quickly. Let them sniff, growl, do their dog thing. Don't interfere unless you absolutely have to. At first, give her all sorts of lovins. Then, with her on your lap, still getting lovins, have the other dog come over and pet it, but keep talking to her. Then give them both treats, her first. It may take time, but I think if you reassure her that you aren't trading her in for a newer model, she will do just fine.
I think your best bet is to try a dog park first, or somewhere like walking path where dogs are going to be. See how he or she reacts then try bringing dogs, the same size as him or her. This will make them not feel intimidated and not trying to overpower the other dog.
i don't think a dog park would work. i tried that. the dogs may get along at the park because that is not my dog's home and territory. Once a dog is in her home she does not like it. She is not welcoming other dogs in her home/pack.
I was able to find an answer by typing in Cesar Millan and introducing new dog to home and other dogs. Basically, if the dogs do not except the new dog in the pack then it is not going to work. Which is what my dog is doing.
Please don't take advice from Cesar Millan. None of his training methods are approved by any of the national training organizations. While some of what he says is good (enough exercise is critical, consistency and rules are important), his actual interpretations of dog body language and intentions are seriously flawed and can easily lead to someone getting hurt. His training philosophy is based on dominance theory, which despite being proven inaccurate (even the author of the original study of captive wolves that spawned the theory has discounted his own original interpretation) is still common among some old-school trainers.
Stand back and don't intervene. She's going to always be territorial. You should allow this Bc it is what they do to survive. However, you also need to relax and let it go as it may. Tell everyone else what your plan is so she can become social with other pets. You cant be nervous. Just sit, relax and observe.