Dogs view me as their equal, aka their buddy. Yet surprisingly, they listen to me. I will lovingly nickname your pups and watch them respond enthusiastically when called. I will take them out for a good run on sunny days; teach them yoga and dance on those dreary days. I will make mealtimes fun since I’m an excellent food preparer/presenter. I will throw slumber parties for them every night (without booze) and read them bedtime stories. I will tell them they are adorable because of their extra few pounds of belly fat and unmistakably original doggie breath. I will remind them that they are loved unconditionally by their mommies and/or daddies who will be home for a happy reunion sooner than they realize our play date is over :).