HOURS OF OPERATION: Pick ups and drop offs are conducted during the following hours: MONDAY'S: 9AM-12noon and 5PM-10PM TUESDAY'S: 9AM-10PM WEDNESDAY'S: 9AM-12noon and 5PM-10PM THURSDAY'S: 9AM-10PM FRIDAY'S: 9AM-12noon and 5PM-10PM SATURDAYS: 9AM-10PM SUNDAY'S: 9AM-10PM (Mon./Wed./Fri. noon-5pm is time reseved for shopping, banking, the gym, etc.) PLEASE SEND BOOKING REQUESTS USING THE ABOVE TIME SCHEDULE MEET AND GREETS ARE CONDUCTED TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS 11am-8pm This is where Sam told me he was taking over since it's pretty much his show around here....so without further adeu, I'm passing the keyboard over to your host, Samwich! My full name is Samwich, please don't ask, I prefer Sam. I'm a chilled out 13 year old Shepard cross. Here's what you need to know about my place- BYOB- because no decent dog likes the smell of another dog's BED! Am I right or am I right? There are beds available if you don't bring one, including a premium memory foam mattress in the doggo guest bedroom. That mattress is soooooo comfy to stretch out on, but then my humans get all like,"Ohhh Saaaaaamm.......Could you please explain how your hair got on the guest bed............again?".......Jeeeeze.....give a dog a break I tell ya. I have a spare Trappers cabin that's fully insulated with on-demand in-floor radiant heat. Under the shade of a big Doug Fir its cool in summer, warm in winter. This cabin rocks! Mine is pretty awesome as well. Humans aren't allowed in the cabins though. Sorry bout that, a dog has to draw the line somewhere. Included in the rent is your own private bedroom in the big house, where the door is never closed, but you can close it if my humans are getting on your nerves with their "what a cute fur baby" routine. You have the right to kick my humans out of your bedroom anytime you want. There's lots of cool shade spots all over the place, and more paradise just outside the rear gate. The property backs onto 80 year old second growth forest. Tons of things to smell/investigate, so many trees to mark, so many trails leading all over the forest and up to the top of the mountain. And with an acre of fenced/gated/secure land surrounding the house and cabins, there's lots space for ripping round and having fun. I'm easy going and get along great with everybody, but I won't share my place with aggressive dogs that are bullies or fighter's. It's a strict rule for the safety and well being of all guests who just want to play and have fun. If you're a runner/escape artist that can jump a 5' chain link fence this isn't the place for you either. The property backs onto forested wilderness and its way too easy to get lost out there if you hop the fence to go for a joy run or chase something....then cant find your way back. I also cant accept some first time boarders (a new rule as of June 2023). If all you know is your humans and your home, my place isnt quite secure enough if you get separation anxiety and become determined to get home above all else. The crew here gets to run around the place without constant supervision. It's very secure for anyone who cant jump a 5' fence.....not secure enough for anyone who can. In the year since I started hosting guests it's been a real blast and everyone's had tons of fun....well....almost everyone. Two guests, out of over 100, decided to hop the fence and run. Both were first time boarders, both were still pups, both had separation anxiety, both were found quickly and both were returned home safe and sound. But I thought my humans were gonna have heart attacks during the search and I wont put them through that again. So if you are under 2 years old, havent been boarded yet, experience separation anxiety, are leary/scared of strangers and have the size/agility to hop a 5' fence, this probably isnt the right place for you. We can help with separation anxiety in youngsters here, help you get accustomed to being away from your home/humans......just not with pups who can hop the fence if they get scared and want to go home. On to happer subjects! I'm a pushover for small dogs. You can boss me around, chew on my tail, call dibs on my bed, sleep on me, eat my food. It's all good. I enjoy the company. My humans are pushovers as well, pretty much, and will gladly do whatever it is that makes you happy. Belly rubs, ear scratches, games of fetch, tug-o-war, daily wholesome treats and hikes in the forest. These all can be yours every day. PRO TIPS ON MOVES: The go-to move here is "Frying pan eyes", they'll bowl over and dish out some ear scratches and head rubs. But a real killer move, that I developed myself, is what I call the "On-your-back high-five with a wag". Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, well.....that's just a slight variation of "Playing dead with-a-wag". OK, that may be true, you have a valid point. But this move works every single time for belly rubs. Every........single.......time. It's the addition of the high-five that gets them all blustery and gushy and yelling for a camera. Don't do it too often though, you don't want to melt their brains completely. THE "BREAKFAST IN BED with one BARK" MOVE - When they call you for breakfast, stay in bed and do absolutely nothing no matter how many times they call your name. When they finally yell, "Whaaaaaat!........you want breakfast in BED????" Bark once. Works every time. They usually mutter something about being your personal butler but they'll be smiling and you get a head rub when they put breakfast down right in front of you. Such an easy move!! I've got hundreds of em. BTW- Signed copies of my Bow Wow Times Best Seller "The Human Whisperer" are available at a discount for all guests. You can also order it online at: barkofthemonthclub.woof So if you don't do well in cages or noisy environments and prefer to stay in a loving and comfortable home away from home, then this is the place for you. Bring your own food/medications and my humans will follow your humans instructions. So here's the deal- You can hang out here, with all the following extras, for one all-inclusive price: - use of the trappers cabin 24/7 - access to the big house 24/7 - doorman on call 24/7 - comfortably furnished private bedroom - dedicated doggo living room with 2 couches and lots of beds - daily massage therapy sessions - high speed WIFI with paw-friendly tablet (but no surfing naked cat sites guys) - daily sessions with a personal fitness trainer - daily complimentary lunchtime hors-d'oeuvres - guided forest excursions right outside the rear gate - personal driver to take you out clubbing at all the best schmoozing joints in town, with complimentary VIP access to: - BX Dog Park - Mutrie Dog Park - Morphet Meadows Dog Park - and to top it all off - a signed copy of my "Top 10 moves that get humans to do anything you want"......as seen on "Late Night" with David Doberman. This sounds like some sorta Spa/Resort/Club Med kinda thing doesn't it? You betcha it does! You wouldn't believe how may guests suddenly become hard to find when their humans show up on check-out day. So what do you think a place like this, with all these features and extras, should go for? Well, it's not really your money you're spending now is it? Besides, your humans miiiiiight be feeling kiiiiiinda guilty for not being able to take you with them, so try pulling the frying pan eyes move, you should be in like Flynn. You can come out to look at the cabin and big house, and to meet me, but you must let your humans out of your vehicle if it's a hot day.