We love our dogs for who they are. No matter what breed, color, shape, or size is our favorite, we adore the activities, traits, and quirks that come with having a pooch on the premises.
Some dogs, however, seem to abandon their dog distinctives and, quite frankly, fail when it comes to doghood. We’ve identified 14 dogs who’ve forgotten how to be themselves; hopefully your four-legged friend hasn’t lost his dog identity and fallen into any of these tragic tropes.
Fed Up
On the one hand we might appreciate the effort to hone those table manners, but come on—we expect your face in a bowl. On the floor. This is just creepy. No, we won’t pass the salt.
Couch Potato
Bark at the television? Fine. Stare at the screen, cock your head looking confused, or just whine for our attention when we’re on a Netflix binge. If we come out and find you in our spot, with the remote, it’s not just forgetting how to dog. It’s a betrayal!
Prolonged Adolescence
It’s bad enough we all know that friend who lost their his job because he spent all his time playing video games. We don’t want our canine companions lost to the XBox too. Enjoy 360 the way the world intended: it’s time for a walk.
Dogs of Anarchy
This is not what we meant by going outside for some exercise. Next thing you know they’re wearing chain wallets, running guns, and getting into bar fights. Though truth be told, we’re loving this awesome guy.
Come at Me, Bro
A dog would give a playful lick, and the only harm done would be a sloppy wet face. This is pure college frat boy behavior, and you should be ashamed.
Hanging with the Chicks
“Should I chase them? Eat them? At least bark at them? Uhhhhhh…” This poor dog seems perplexed, as though some instinctual synapses just aren’t firing.
For the Birds
This dog’s gone from confused to a complete species conversion. Mothers have a nesting instinct, but providing a furry nest for these baby birds? Wow.
All Dolled Up
All right, we might find ourselves giving this accommodating canine some mad props. Maybe he hasn’t forgotten how to dog: perhaps he’s taking one for the team to entertain his cute companion.
A Real Swinger
The park is for running, buddy…or jumping wildly into the pond behind you. Play fetch or mingle with other dogs. You are not a toddler, and this is beneath you.
Strolling
The loss of this dog’s canine identity is probably due to a slacking mom or dad. Is that a real baby? Walk your own child and let the dog frolic alongside. This seems like a slippery slope.
Scaredy-Dog
There’s no excuse for this. It’s just a cat, pal, not some freaky clown in a haunted house. There’s a reason it’s called scaredy-cat. You’re the dog of the house. Show some dignity.
Resignation
You’re four times their size. They’re young. Snuggling up together is only suspect, but that paw in the face is just outright humiliation. Might as well start purring and swap that ruff for a high-pitched meow.
Dog Becomes Chicken
This is a case of trying too hard: dog tries to be a bad dog. Cat calls dog’s bluff. Dog runs like a terrified little mouse. The end.
The Leashed Offensive
This is the last straw. A cat walking the dog? No self-respecting canine would dare allow this. You’ve forgotten everything about the pecking order, pooch. Simply appalling.
Take heart, dog lovers: if your barking best friend is starting to show signs of species-level amnesia, taking on traits that are outside or beneath their station, here’s a remedy: show them video proof that even cats wish they were dogs, and pretend when they think no one’s listening. It should chase their anxieties away and let them embrace their all their doggone goodness.
